Moony's Musings
by Biggest Fan
Summary: Lupin’s thoughts before and as he’s boarding the Hogwarts Express and his dreams of 1981 while he’s on the train in 1993.


Title: Moony's Musings

Summary: Lupin's thoughts before and as he's boarding the Hogwarts Express and his dreams of 1981 while he's on the train in 1993. 

Rating: PG – for mild language

A/N: It just kind of popped into my head. If you read it, review it, please. Thoughts are in _italics and memories are in **bold. **_

Moony's Musings

By Biggest Fan

            Remus Lupin stared at the platform between platforms nine and ten. _I'm not ready for this. _

            **"Hey Moony!" shouted James. It was the end of their seventh year and James was about to propose to the woman he loved. "Moony, hurry up before you miss the train!"**

**            "I'm coming, Prongs!" he shouted back. He checked the room over one last time and spotted a little black box. He smiled. "Prongs, you forgot something." James came running back into the room. **

**            "That was perfect, Moony," said James. "Come on, I need all the morale support I can get." He followed James downstairs. "Lily, you had better thank your lucky stars that Moony here was giving the room a once over, because I almost forgot this." James pulled out the little black box and got down on one knee. "Because if Moony hadn't reminded me, I would have forgotten to say that I love you more then anything, and that if you won't be my wife I don't know what I'll do." Lily burst into tears.**

**            "Silly goose," said Lily. "You don't have to ask." James stood up and Lily flew into his arms. **

            Remus took a deep breath and looked towards the barrier. He walked through the barrier and onto Platform 9 ¾. There weren't many people on it. Only a few overworked parents who had taken a few moments off work to wish their child good bye. Of course nobody noticed him, but Remus was glad of it. He didn't particularly feel like talking to anyone at the moment. He was focusing too hard on not crying. He could hear Sirius at their wedding. 

            **"Moony, you old softie, it's a wedding! You're supposed to be happy!"**

**            "I am happy, Padfoot. I know they're going to last forever."**

            Remus got himself situated on the train in a compartment at the very end. He put his singular shabby suitcase and cardboard box half full of personal items in the overhead shelf. He sat back in his seat and prepared to go to sleep. _Damn full moon. Remus was about to drift off when he started to hear shouting. __Damn, it's fifteen of. Remus pretended to sleep as he heard shouting and laughing. Suddenly he sat straight up. __Holy crap! Harry's how old now? Let's see, he was born in 1980, which would make him thirteen. I'm going to teach him. Oh, if James could see me now. __Me.__ Moony.__ A prankster who is presently a teacher? What would Sirius__ say? He wouldn't say anything; he'd probably kill me, too. He heard voices outside his compartment, so he laid back and shut his eyes. _

            "Who d'you reckon he is?" asked a boy in a whisper. 

            "Professor R. J. Lupin," whispered a girl. 

            "How d'you know that?" asked the boy.

            "It's on his case," replied the girl. 

            "Wonder what he teaches?" asked the boy. 

            "That's obvious. There's only one vacancy, isn't there? Defense Against the Dark Arts," replied the girl. _She's clever._

            "Well, I hope he's up to it. He looks like one good hex would finish him off, doesn't he? Anyway…what were you going to tell us?" asked the boy. _Boy, you have no idea what I've been through and I hope you never have to. A third boy started to speak. He mentioned a phrase that he didn't expect to hear. _

            "While your parents were arguing, Ron, I found out that surprise, Sirius Black is after me," said the boy. _Harry? Harry it's me, Remus. Come give a hug to the last person in the world that was there when you were born, the last person in the world who changed your gladly changed you diapers with love, the last person in the world who remembers your first word was 'snitch' , the last person in the world who loves you. Oh Harry, if you only knew. Harry continued to talk, and finally the girl spoke. _

            "Sirius Black escaped to kill _you? Oh, Harry…you'll have to be really, really careful. Don't go looking for trouble, Harry…" she was saying, but the other boy cut her off._

            "How thick would Harry have to be, to go looking for a nutter who wants to kill him?" asked the boy, a hint of nervousness in his voice. The conversation eventually turned to Hogsmeade and Remus drifted off. 

            **It was cold and rainy outside, as it usually was in October. Remus was worried. It was the full moon and he was waiting for his change. Remus checked his moon schedule and his clock again. His watch said ****6:24****, and the schedule said the moon was due to rise at ****6:30****. Where were the guys? He hadn't gone through a transition without all of them since they became Animagi for him, with the exception of James and Lily's wedding night, but James had a perfectly valid excuse and Sirius and Peter were there. James had gone into hiding, so he wouldn't be around anymore, but Sirius and Peter had promised to be around. Remus sat on his scratched living room couch to wait. Suddenly he felt that horrible tingling feeling all down his spine, and he felt his bones start to morph. He felt like he had just drunk a gallon of Polyjuice Potion. **

**            "Where are you guys?" asked Remus, gritting his teeth against the pain that was bombarding his thin form. Remus let out a low growl and rushed to put last minute spells on his doors and windows. Finally, he gave into the wolf and let out a bloodcurdling howl as the moon rose. That night was one of Remus's worst. He felt alone and abandoned right before he transformed. _Nobody loves me. Inside the wolf who was roaming around his house, Remus cried._**

            "Sorry – d'you know what's going on? – Ouch – sorry…" said a boy.

            "Hullo, Neville," said Harry. _Wasn't the Longbottom boy named Neville? Poor chap, I'll be sure to be nice to him, fair but nice. _

_            "Harry? Is that you? What's happening?" asked Nevill. _

            "No idea – sit down…" said Harry. Remus heard a yelp.

            "I'm going to go and ask the driver what's going on," said the girl Remus had heard before. Remus opened his eyes and saw nothing but darkness. He heard a thud and two squeals of pain. ****

**            "Who's that?" asked the girl whose voice Remus recognized.**

            "Who's _that?" asked a girl whose voice Remus didn't recognize. _

            "Ginny?" asked the first girl.

            "Hermione?" asked Ginny. 

            "What are you doing?" asked Hermione.

            "I was looking for Ron…" said Ginny. 

            "Come in and sit down," said Hermione.

            "Not here, _I'm here," said Harry. _

            "Ouch!" said Neville. 

            "Quiet!" said Remus. Everyone obeyed. Remus was thankful that it was dark because he was blushing. _I never was the leader type. That was Sirius. James was the mastermind. Peter was the innocent extra hand. __I was the alibi. Remus smirked and made his signature ball of light. "Stay where you are." His voice was hoarse because he hadn't used it since this morning. Remus made to open the door but there was a Dementor in his way. He heard another thud, and he looked behind him. Harry had gone rigid and fallen on the floor, shaking. __Poor Harry.__ "None of us are hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go." The Dementor didn't move. Remus reached down into his memories to the day where Sirius, Peter and James all told him they were going to become Animagi for him. "Expecto Patronum." A sliver ribbon erupted from his wand like it had so many times before and turned into a wolf. The wolf drove the Dementor away. Remus turned back to the students, one of the girls was crying and the other was slapping Harry in the face. The lanterns went on and the train started moving again._

            "Harry! Harry! Are you alright?" she asked. 

            "W – What?" he asked. 

            "Are you okay?" asked a red haired boy. 

            "Yeah," said Harry. Remus almost fainted. Lying on the ground was a thirteen year old James, only with green eyes and a lightning bolt scar. "What happened? Where's that – that thing? Who screamed?" Remus went to his suitcase and brought out a big slab of chocolate.

            "No one screamed," said the red haired boy, shifting uncomfortably. 

            "But I heard screaming…" said Harry, uncertainly. Remus snapped the chocolate into pieces. 

            "Here," said Remus, handing Harry a big piece. "Eat it. It'll help." He handed it to Harry, who didn't eat it. 

            "What was that thing?" he asked.

            "A Dementor. One of the Dementors of Azkaban," said Remus. "Eat, it'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…" Remus walked out of the compartment. He walked to the head of the train, where the guards sat and an old man sat in an armchair wearing a black uniform with thin red, green, yellow and blue stripes. 

            "Can I help you, sir?" asked the conductor. 

            "I need to send an owl to the school," said Remus. 

            "Alright," said the conductor. 

            "Thanks," said Remus. He scribbled a note to Professor McGonagall. It didn't take a teaching license to know that Harry would be a Gryffindor. 

            Professor McGonagall,

                        Harry fainted on the train because of the Dementors. I think maybe Madame Pomfrey should look him over. I'm looking forward to seeing you again, and don't worry. Without my partners in crime, I'm an angel. We'll be at the school soon.

                                    Remus Lupin

            "How long until Hogwarts?" asked Remus. 

            "About ten minutes," said the conductor.

            Remus sent the owl off into the storm and walked back to the compartment, where he saw Harry hadn't eaten any of his chocolate, but instead was talking to his friends. 

            "No," said the red haired boy. "Ginny wasn't shaking like mad, though…"

            "I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know…" said Remus, with a small smile. _I can just hear James now: "Not up to your usual standard, Moony, you should have poisoned it with something and given it to Snape." "We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes. Are you alright, Harry?"_

            "Fine," said Harry. Remus sat back down and waited for the train to stop at the station.

            _I'll look out for Harry, James. I won't let that traitor get him after what he did to you._

A/N: I quoted directly from the book for a lot of this. I had to make it accurate. Review, please. In the review, please include if you want Chapter Two: Padfoot's Ponderings and Chapter Three: Wormtail's Wonderings. Thanks. 


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